Do you want to have a baby but are not with a partner? Are you losing hope or feeling depressed because this very important area of your life has been left on standby, waiting for the right partner to come along in order to start your family?
My name is Kylie Enkelmann, I am a Fertility Coach and Solo Mama by Choice and I am here to tell you that your dreams of having a family do not need to be contingent on having a partner.
I know, it’s a bold move. Nobody wants to do it alone, right? Well, that’s not exactly the case (there are far worse situations to be in!). Besides, I’m not here to preach that you need to do it on your own. Instead, I am inviting you to have a closer look at the cultural conditioning that we, as women, have been programmed to believe around what are the necessary conditions for starting our families.
We live in a time of unprecedented change. Committed relationships are being delayed. Nearly 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. Housing affordability is at an all time low. And women are increasingly facing their mid to late thirties without a committed partner in sight and are left wondering how did they get to be here and what about the children they always thought they’d have?
The truth is, we live in a time and culture where we have enormous freedom and opportunity to create a life that is meaningful and authentic to us. This includes choosing unconventional approaches to creating our families.
When I separated from my husband and partner of 13 years I was 37 and I thought I still had time to find a new partner and to have a family. I felt young, and there is always IVF, right? When I was diagnosed as medically infertile I was devastated and decided that I would do everything in my power to have a baby as soon as possible, knowing that time only works against a woman’s fertility.
Even though I had very supportive people around me, I still felt very isolated and alone, as though I was going against the fabric of our society. It certainly wasn’t the journey into parenthood that I had anticipated for myself. Fortunately, I was blessed with a beautiful healthy baby who was born towards the beginning of 2016. Along this journey I have met many beautiful women who have reinforced to me that this was the best decision that I could have made and how deeply blessed and fortunate I was to have had my baby.
Choosing to have children is not for everyone. There are many men and women who choose not to have children and live incredibly fulfilling and happy lives.
However, there are also many men and women who have been unable to have the children they yearned for, and they experience a profound and pervading sense of loss as a result of this. This may have resulted from physical infertility or what is now termed social infertility. Social infertility is used to describe women or men who are unable to have children because they don’t have the life partner or conducive life situation.
Whilst physical infertility is a heartbreaking situation that has very limited means of overcoming it, social infertility has inbuilt into it a much greater scope and available options for being prevented or overcome.
I hope that you can join me for an introductory discussion on this topic. Please bring your questions and an open mind. I hope to see you there.
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